New Short Story

Alrighty, it's that time again....That time where I put myself out there and share my writing with you. This piece doesn't really have a title (but if you could help me with some ideas, that would be wonderful!) (I've also submitted this to the book In Roads, so maybe it will be published...Hmm...) Anyways. It was an assignment in school to write a story from the point of view of child under 11. It was a hit in class, but here is a different story. Be honest and tell me what you think!


"You look like a princess!" I say to my big sister Samantha who was standing in the middle of the living room for inspection before what she kept calling, "The Big Dance." As she stood in her lacy, poofy Cinderella-like dress, I walk around her several times admiring each little detail and wondering what it might look like on me.
Shortly after, the doorbell rings and I yell, "I'll get it," as I rush to the door, only to find a boy about seventeen holding a white corsage.
"Hello, Mr. Prince Charming!" I turn around, "Samantha! Your Prince is here! Did you lose your glass slipper?" I giggle, "Do have her back by midnight. Wouldn't want your carriage turning into a pumpkin!"
As Samantha rounds the corner she says, "Don't mind my sister. She's nine, that's her only excuse." She walks by and brushes my head with her hand as I cross my arms in defiance. "Now lets go before they can embarrass me anymore."
When I hear the loud obnoxious roar of the engine as they drive off into the night, I run to my mother and announce that I can't wait to go to a dance with my prince and she replies, "You will one day. It will come soon enough."
The rest of the night I pretended I was at my own dance. I got dressed up in my prettiest dress and raided my mother's make up cabinet. After I decided I looked my best, I danced around the living room with my dance partner only I could see. I tried dancing with Lucky, our golden retriever, but he was too clumsy and I decided that Ralph, my invisible friend, was much more graceful.
When my bedtime rolled around, Mom helped me get undressed and helped me take my make up off then she sent me off to bed, protesting all the way to try and wait up for Samantha to return home. I finally settled for going to bed. Just because I go to bed doesn't mean I have to go to sleep.
What seems like an eternity later, I hear the front door open and I know it has to be Samantha. I open my bedroom door the tiniest bit to peek out and suddenly hear sobs. I open my door as far as I could without getting caught (and as far as it would open before it would squeak. I think my parents keep that there on purpose.) and see Sam, sitting on the couch crying in a torn and tattered dress. I only hear bits and pieces of her conversation with my parents and what I do hear I don't understand, but what I do understand is that Mr. Prince Charming wasn't nice to my big sister. Her fairy tale had been ruined by some jerk.
It was that night that I stopped believing in fairy tales and Prince Charmings and was sadly and reluctantly (as reluctantly as when it was bedtime) pulled into reality.


Comment please!!!

Love,
Jenn